{this moment}

{this moment} - Inspired by Soulemama. In her words: A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you want to participate head over to her blog and enjoy!

Bedtime Stories

When A. was around 4-5 months old DH and I realized that we really needed a better bedtime routine. She was going to bed whenever she was tired and then we'd collapse on the couch for a bit before getting up to do all those things that you can't do when you are busy holding a baby all day (like cooking dinner). At that point our bedtime routine basically entailed giving her a bath and then rocking/nursing her until she was almost asleep. At that point we'd set her in her bassinet and stay with her until we knew she was asleep. It worked, but the whole thing just felt like a chore. At the time we were also both really tired and not having much fun. We got to talking about how to make it better and decided that we really needed to start reading A. a bedtime story. (The exact details of how we decided that a lack of a bedtime story was the root of the problem are rather blurry now due to the lack of sleep...) The question became what to read her for a bedtime story. We'd tried having one book that was her standard story, but that got boring really fast so we decided to try reading her "real" books. I think we started with Anne of Green Gables because I'd been telling DH how much I liked it and how I couldn't wait until A. was old enough to read it with me. Suddenly DH and I were having a great time because he would read while I nursed A and then after we put her to bed we'd sit (or stand and work together) and talk about the book.

As A. got better at eating solid foods we expanded the routine. From the time she was able to fling food in the general direction of her mouth the routine has been to eat dinner as a family (which would frequently mean DH and I taking turns feeding A. and eating ourselves trying to finish before the food got cold). Then DH will take A. in and bathe her while I got my first real break of the day, this was especially important when she was just starting to eat solids because she would be covered in food. We were lucky in that it was warm when she started to really feed herself a lot so we would just strip her down to a diaper before dinner and then let her have fun knowing that the floor would mop and she would wash. After her bath we dress her in her PJs and then all sit on the couch and snuggle while DH reads a chapter from the book we are working on. When she was little I would use this time to nurse her so that she'd be nice and full before bed, now she likes to either play quietly or snuggle depending on how tired she is. The story gives us all a chance to wind down our day together and A. is generally ready to go to bed right after. Within a few minutes she is asleep and DH and I can enjoy the rest of the evening together.

I don't know why it took me so long to think of reading real books to A. because it is a great solution for our family. However, it also seems like it isn't something that is commonly done so maybe that's why. We don't try to force her to listen, we simply ask that she be relatively quiet while DH is reading. If she is having trouble being quiet we offer her the chance to go to bed and finish later. Sometimes she asks for bed, but mostly she quiets down and snuggles with us while DH finishes. We aren't trying to turn her into some sort of super genius or anything, but I do hope she will learn to love books and the stories they tell. Lately she's been really into having me read her picture books, I've actually had to set a limit on the number of books I'll read her each day because I want her to play on her own too. I don't know if it is because she likes the books, or the cuddling or that the love of reading is sinking in, but whatever it is she's asking for it.

All that being said, it is hard sometimes to find a good book for a toddler. She isn't old enough to really talk through dark parts of a book, but she is old enough to actually listen and understand most of what is going on. Simpler books tend to be easier for her to understand, but if they are too simple DH and I don't enjoy them as much. We are hoping to be able to continue the tradition of a family bedtime story until our kids are at least mostly grown and since we are obviously planning on more kids than just A. being there to enjoy the stories we will probably be going back to revisit old favorites at various points. At the same time it would be nice to have a good variety of books on our list. So far we have read the entire Anne of Green Gables series, Little Women, Little Men and Watership Down. We are currently reading Little House in the Big Woods. We are currently debating whether or not to continue with the Little House series or if we should read Wind in the Willows next. Any thoughts from my literary friends? Also, does anyone have any suggestions on other books we should add to our list? I'd love any suggestions I can get.

Making Dinner Happen

Lately I've realized that I'm generally really tired by the end of the day. Maybe it's being pregnant, maybe it's chasing an active toddler or not getting enough sleep. It is probably a combination of all of these things. However, no matter the cause, the effects are getting bothersome. I haven't had the energy for blogging and even if I did I haven't had a lot of energy for doing neat things to blog about. The biggest effect though has been on dinner. I'm sure that any of you with young kids know how hard it can be to make dinner quickly with a toddler trying to get your attention or even when said toddler is "helping". My old solution was to either do some prep while A. was napping, or more often to just wait until DH got home and whip up dinner while he played with A. Since the two of them love spending time together this worked really well for a long time. However, now by the time DH is home from work I'm tired and just want to sit down and rest for a bit so we were eating more convenience foods or opting to eat out more often. On the surface these options are okay and they certainly still get us fed. However, they aren't great for the pocket book and it gets increasingly hard to combine eating out with eating healthy. This has been really bothering me lately because I feel like in some ways I am failing my family (gotta love that mommy guilt). Thankfully, I am working on some solutions. Since I figure I'm not the only one to run into this problem when life gets crazy I thought I'd share what I'm doing right now and ask for suggestions for improvement.

The first thing I'm working on is planning ahead. When I'm tired thinking comes harder for me so I tend to put it off hoping that it will be easier later. Unfortunately, before long I find that I'm in the 6pm time crunch and still don't know what to make and have to figure something out now because A. has to get to bed. In the past I've tried to plan a weekly meal plan, but something always comes up and throws off the schedule. I'm hoping to get to the point where I can have a weekly plan with enough flexibility to really work, but in the meantime I am focusing on having a plan before bed the night before. This goal is smaller and thus more obtainable which means I'm not failing at it nearly as often. DH and I will take a couple of minutes after A. goes to bed each night to look at what we have in the fridge and what needs to be used. Then I come up with a meal plan for the next day based on a combination of that and what the schedule is looking like. If I'm not sure of the next day I try to come up with a back-up plan too just in case and then pull anything I'll need that is currently frozen up into the fridge to start thawing.

The second thing I'm doing is to take advantage of A's nap to get dinner started. I don't have to have everything done, but if I have dinner started or even just have prepped ingredients by 4pm the whole evening seems to go smoother. I got this idea from this blog. It has a ton of tasty recipes that can be done in bits and pieces through out the day. Before I found it I had never thought of prepping a casserole in the morning when I had energy and sticking it in the fridge so that I could just pop it in the oven 40 minutes before dinner instead of trying to push through the end of day exhaustion.

Right now these are the two things I'm focusing on. An example of how it works would what we are doing tonight. Yesterday when I was digging through the freezer to grab out some frozen veggies to go with dinner I accidentally ripped the plastic on some ground beef. This made the dinner decision a little easier because I knew that if I left it in the freezer it would get freezer burn so I pulled up the meat. I realized that I had been craving Swedish meatballs for a while, but hadn't made them because they require you to have thawed ground beef (mine was always frozen) and the time to mix and shape the meatballs, brown them, make gravy and then simmer them. We've been on the go a lot and when you are getting home from a play date 30 minutes before dinner there just isn't time for that. Today we didn't have any plans, but I also finally realized I could use a small crock pot. This meant that after lunch I put A. down for her nap and then grabbed the (now thawed) meat from the fridge. I mixed and shaped the meatballs and then browned them in a skillet. Once they were brown I put them in the crock pot and then made gravy with the pan drippings, beef broth and some Marsala wine. I let it boil long enough to cook off the alcohol and then poured it over the meatballs in the crock pot. I set the already hot meatball mixture to low and it is now simmering away making the house smell nice. At that point I realized I really needed to sit down because my stupid ankles were starting to swell (this happened when I was pregnant with A. too, no amount of water, rest, salt, etc. ever helped much, but my blood pressure was always really low so no worries). While A. is playing this afternoon I'll wash and chop up some broccoli and throw it in the top of the steamer and put the whole thing in the fridge. That way, when DH is home we can hang out as a family for a little bit and then I can slip away to the kitchen to start some rice and boil water to steam the broccoli while he plays with A. If I'm really on top if it I'll have the water and rice measured and the pots on the stove so I just have to turn on burners, but we'll see. Worst case, if I do nothing else today, I can start some rice and put the last of the giant bin of salad on the table and call it good. We'll have a balanced, tasty meal and I don't have to feel bad for collapsing on the couch as soon as DH walks in the door because dinner will be busy making itself.

These are helping most days, but I'm still not getting a "good" dinner on the table every single night. I'd love to hear suggestions on how to improve this plan or any other tips for getting a healthy, tasty dinner on the table when you are exhausted at the end of the day. Please share.

{this moment}

{this moment} - Inspired by Soulemama. In her words: A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you want to participate head over to her blog and enjoy!

Bonus picture (aka "What I've been doing instead of blogging):

Tuesday Tip: Bacon

I don't know about you, but I love bacon. The only problem is that it is really expensive for a food that isn't terribly healthy and mostly adds flavor and fat. For us bacon is a "sometimes food". Most of the time I keep an eye on the sales and look for coupons, but sometimes I really luck out. You see, I don't care if my bacon is pretty, or uniform, I just like the flavor so I keep my eyes out for "bacon ends and pieces". Not every store carries them, but if the store you go to cuts their own bacon keep an eye out for it. The ends and pieces are the slices that are too short, too thick or thin, the ends from pieces that are too long, etc. The are whatever is leftover that isn't perfect, but they are still bacon and generally cost half as much as the normal kind. Sometimes you'll get bits that are mostly fat and other times you'll get big hearty bits that are more like ham than bacon. You can either eat them as is and enjoy the variety (which is my favorite way) or chop up the bits you don't like and use them on salad, in omelets, on pizza, etc.

The other tip I have is to save the bacon grease after you cook bacon. All you need is a glass jar that you can keep in the fridge. After you cook your bacon pour off the grease into the jar and save it in the fridge for later. By saving it you are saving it instead of pouring it down the drain you are saving money and your drain at the same time. This may sound silly and a little overly frugal, but bacon grease has a great flavor and can really enhance a lot of dishes and the bacon grease is free (once you've already bought the bacon) while butter, margarine and oil have to be purchased. Instead of scrambling or frying your eggs with a little bit of butter try bacon grease. Then you can get the flavor of bacon without actually making fresh bacon (or eating all those extra calories). It is also great for frying greens, the flavor of the bacon really pairs well with the more bitter greens and can help take the bite out of them. Next time you want an interesting, and cheap, side dish try using some of that bacon grease to fry up potatoes, add a little garlic powder or season salt for a dish that really says "comfort food". There are so many places that using bacon grease in place of butter or oil can enhance the flavor of the meal while cutting the cost just a bit (especially if you use real butter).

How about you? Have you heard of bacon ends and pieces? Do you save your bacon grease for use in later meals? If so what is your favorite use for bacon grease?

{this moment}

{this moment} - Inspired by Soulemama. In her words: A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you want to participate head over to her blog and enjoy!

To Be or Not To Be a Princess?

A couple of days ago a friend linked to this article about how the "princess" culture is taking over for little girls. I shared the link and the dichotomy of the responses was interesting. I have to say, as the mother of a little girl, I feel princesses and pink really are overdone. While I think that the author goes overboard on keeping princesses totally out of her daughter's life I can see where she's coming from. When you find out you are having a little girl you can pretty safely assume that you will be given a plethora of pink clothes unless you specifically request otherwise (and sometimes even then). Your daughter will be called a "princess" by pretty much everyone.
If someone sees her digging in the dirt without a bow in her hair it will be assumed that she is a boy, even if she has pink flowers in her shirt. Random strangers (like the UPS guy) and friends alike will question why you painted the nursery blue if you are expecting a girl. This has caused many of us mothers of daughters to rebel. A part of me honestly wants to say "no pink, no princesses, and no dresses". That said, I then think back to my own childhood and I realize I could never be quite that strict. My bedroom was painted pink, at my insistence, from the time I was 8 until I was 15 or 16 when I decided to repaint it. I loved Cinderella and even dressed as her one year (though I made my own costume out of a junior bridesmaid dress I had, I didn't buy one of the premade Disney ones). While I don't wear dresses often, I will sometimes and they make me feel pretty.

This begs the question of where to draw the line. This is a line that will be different for each family, but one that should be drawn none the less. The easiest place to start drawing the line is with colors. Pink is a great color, especially on a girl like A. who has blond hair, blue eyes and a rosy complection. However, she also looks smashing in blue (to match her eyes), brown, green and even gray. In many ways these colors look even better on her than pink, but pink is the color that most little girls clothes come in. My goal with pink is not to exclude it, but to keep it equal with all the rest of the colors. With the nursery we painted the walls sky blue and did a jungle theme because we knew we were planning on keeping the theme for the next kid and switching A. to a "big girl room" when the time came. After much debate we've decided to paint the room green and have a mix of white and light wood furniture. There will be some pink and brown accents and we are really excited. (I'm hoping to make A. a quilt for her bed that will go with the floral/woodland/garden theme we are choosing, but we'll see how that goes.) Her room will have some pink, but also lots of other colors. The same goes for her clothes, some are pink, some are purple, but some are blue and brown and white too. I don't wear the same color every day so why should she? Pink can be a good color, I'd rather we not all get tired of it before her second birthday.

The next question, in order of ease to answer, is dresses. Dresses are pretty, but they are rarely practical. This is especially true when you are a toddler. I will let A. wear dresses when she wants, but right now she climbs so much that they would be a hindrance (hmm, maybe I should encourage more dresses to make chasing her easier). Right now she likes to run and climb and dig. Dresses are great for more formal occasions, church or other places where she will be sitting still and we have a few just for that, but mostly she wears clothes that she can move and get dirty in.

Now it's time for the hard question, princesses. As a kid I loved the Disney princess movies. I watched Cinderella so many times that I could sing the whole soundtrack and quote most of the words. I loved Beauty and the Beast and wished I was a brunette so I could look like Belle (sometimes I still do). However, this was all when I was older, I was old enough to understand the difference between real life and storybooks. Many of the "princess" themed things on the market today are aimed at toddlers and preschoolers. Little girls that are just beginning to figure out who they are and how the world works. They are just learning how imagination works and pretending to be a character in a story can stifle that. After all, which is more open ended, pretending you are the fairy princess trapped in a tower and playing through the act to see what happens or pretending you are Cinderella going to the ball to find your "happily ever after"? In the first example the prince might rescue the princess, or the princess might get bored waiting and slay the dragon herself, or maybe even rescue the prince. In the second you are pretty much following along with what happened in the movie, sure you might embellish some, but the main plot is already established. The second issue I have with the Disney princesses in particular is the assumption that "happily ever after" is automatic just because you met your prince. In the movies the princes are all one dimensional creatures that have little more than a title and looks to recommend them. Is this the kind of man you want your daughter to marry? Do you want her to assume that simply because she is married that she will never have to work on her relationship, that they will live "happily ever after" no matter what? Should she assume that her "prince" will take care of everything and she'll never have to lift a finger or do her share in the relationship? That's a good way to wind up unhappy and divorced. If you want to point your daughter towards a princess to emulate, why not point her to some of the real life princesses? Many of them have been very strong women who have put duty, honor and country ahead of themselves. They have had their share of sorrow and tragedy along with the pretty dresses and giant parties. They have worked and sacrificed and been strong for themselves and others. Their stories might not be all glitter and gowns, but many of them are wonderful role models for older girls. While we are at it, why not teach our daughters about the many other strong, intelligent women in the world. The women mathematicians during WWII that spent their days calculating the ballistics tables for the army or working on the Manhattan Project. How about the women who were off flying planes or working in factories so that the men could be freed up to fight. Or the many brave women, even today, who keep the home fires burning and the children safe, fed and well mannered while their men are off serving in the military. Why not teach our daughters about Marie Curie, Jane Goodall or the women's rights movement? Princesses are alright in their place (once girls are old enough to understand what that place is), but why should they displace so many better things? I love escaping into a good, fun or just plain fluffy story as much as the next person, but that doesn't change the fact that at the end of the book I have to be fit to return to real life.

I want my daughter to be an intelligent, strong, well rounded, insightful, honest, hardworking, loving women. I want her to be able to earn her daily bread, care for children if she chooses to have them, support herself and her family as needed or be content in the knowledge that staying home can be just as important. I want her to be able to find a good man, or to be able to live life contently on her own if she can't find one that meets her high standards. I want her to be able to act like a lady, while still retaining her own strength. Most importantly, I want her to figure out who she is, not who someone else thinks she should be. Princesses and playing dress-up can help her in this, but I am not convinced that blindly following the princess trend will.

My goal is to push off her exposure to Disney princesses, Dora the Explorer, Barney and Friends, Lightning McQueen, Thomas the Tank Engine, or any other "licensed" characters as long as I can. This isn't to say that I think that these shows and movies are bad (many of them a lot of fun), just that I don't like the idol worship that goes along with them. I hate that toys are sold to the kids instead of the adults. I hate that the goal of marketing is to convince children to pester their parents until the parents give in and buy the latest "it" toy. I also hate the peer pressure that is associated with this. The idea that you are somehow not as good as the next kid if your parents don't buy you a certain thing. This is not what I want to teach my daughter. I don't want her to value things more than people or good character. At some point we will watch Thomas and Friends (assuming I can get over the fact that Ringo Star isn't Mr. Conductor anymore). We will also sit down together and watch Cinderella and Beauty and the Beast. But I'd rather wait until she's old enough to understand that it can be just a story on the screen and doesn't need to be a way of life.